alright alright alright alright

today a customer told me at work i looked like shit.

not those exact words, she said i look like i "didn't want to be there" and that i "don't usually look like that"

it caught me off guard because i thought i was looking and feeling pretty normal.

i almost said to her that she should have seen me yesterday when i really needed to poo. 

i sort of held in in for the last 2 hours bcos i didnt want to use the tatty toilets... 

maybe she simply was observing the ghostly echo of that day's discomfort reflected in my face, my gut after all seems to aspire to routine and repetition.

or maybe it was that i had a big sleep last night? too big a sleep? i was exhausted and passed out shortly after getting home..

can you sleep so much you become tired? 

i had been a bit off all day. slightly awkward. the usual effortless polite interactions had been... not strained exactly but not effortless. a bit clumsy. forced. maybe i was too much in my head.

i certainly was now.

i felt weird and decided to play something weird on the record player to reflect how i felt.

i passed over all the usual old timey easy listening stuff and settled on some mike oldfield album. 

someone complained almost immediately.